Love Bombing

Love bombing is a manipulation technique used to intentionally overwhelm someone with affectionate and loving words, actions, and behaviors. This is done by the manipulator in order to meet their own personal goals by gaining the victim’s trust and affection. The technique is designed to manipulate one into spending all of their time with the manipulator and less time with themselves or others such as family members and friends. Love bombing is frequently used by narcissists in the beginning of a relationship so they are able to shape their partner into a member of their “cast”. This may look like the manipulator constantly reminding you “How good we are together,” when you are suspecting otherwise in an effort to keep you close. This line, “How good we are together,” is frequently used by a love bomber. 

There are nine key signs to look out for in a potential love bomber. The first sign is being lavished with gifts due to the manipulator wanting the victim to believe they owe them something. Non-stop compliments such as “I’ve never met anyone like you,” or “I love everything about you,” being said very early into a new relationship is a red flag that the feelings are not genuine. Healthy relationships develop naturally and gradually, because of this one should not express their undying love after a short amount of time. The third sign is bombarding your phone to the point where one begins to feel increasingly overwhelmed and as if the conversation is one-sided. 

Demanding your undivided attention is used to manipulate the victim into only spending time with the love bomber and feeling guilty when not doing so. True love respects other commitments, ideas, and boundaries. Similarly to non-stop compliments, trying to convince you that you’re soulmates with sayings such as “We were born to be together,” after a short amount of time hints at feelings not being genuine. Additionally, a love bomber may demand commitment by putting pressure on the victim to rush into the relationship while making huge plans for the future. Love bombers will also get upset when their partner tries to create boundaries because it makes it more difficult for them to manipulate you. The last two signs are being overly needy and feeling overwhelmed by the intensity of the relationship with unbalanced feelings. Healthy relationships do not require partners to only spend time with their significant other and relationships should not feel like a constant rollercoaster.