Improving Communication Skills

When humans are awake they spend about 70% of their time in verbal communication. Communication involves a sender and receiver, however there can be multiple barriers that can cause a difference in one's frame of reference. The three most common barriers are assumptions about oneself, an attitude about the message itself, and sensing the receiver’s reaction. If the speaker is sending a message effectively, they will work at finding appropriate words and emotions to express what they would like to say. Additionally, the speaker will continually look for cues from the listener to get any form of feedback even if that means asking for it. 

Because a major barrier within communication is the tendency to evaluate, receivers need to display active listening and empathy to the sender. In other words, an effective listener needs to actively see from the speaker's point of view. Listeners can improve interpersonal communication by paraphrasing, reacting to nonverbal communication, and making sure they aren’t trying to memorize everything. Feeling as if you are not being heard or understood can cause a lot of anger, resentment, and conflict within any form of a relationship. 

Sexual communication is an extremely important part of any type of sexual relationship. The most important role of communication within sexual relationships is establishing and maintaining consent within sexual experiences. Mutual empathy, or the underlying knowledge that each partner in the relationship cares for each other and knows that care is reciprocated, is a necessity. Good listening traits within relationships include active listening, maintaining eye contact, providing feedback, supporting your partner’s communication efforts, and expressing unconditional positive regard. Unconditional positive regard means allowing your partner(s) to talk about subjects that might be embarrassing or difficult for them. Lastly, use “I” language to be forthright and avoid “why” questions because they can be seen as criticizing or attacking the receiver.